It is truly humanizing to feel despair, agony, pain, and grief. Each one of us has been there and has felt inadequate at some point in our lives. Our situations may differ, the feeling of loneliness knows no language, no race, no age, and no gender—it is a universal feeling.
Imagine having invested so much time and emotions in one person, and that same person no longer wanted that thing you both wanted and had before. In hopes to fix whatever has become between you two, some things are just irreparable.
When all is said and done, and moving on becomes inescapable, we could seek help from online psychic readers whose expertise at moving on and handling grief is unparalleled. You can divulge any information in utter confidence, and you could even cry if it would make you feel better.
There are battles that have to be lost in order to win the war. So, pick up the little pieces you could still salvage, and dust off your knees. Painful breakups are always bound to happen.
To quote a popular saying,
“It is a risk to love. What if it doesn’t work out? Ah, but what if it does.”
To love and feel loved is probably the greatest feeling in the world. What if it is no longer the way it used to?
Today we will list down some of the small ways that bring about big changes in your life for you to move on without the pains, memories, and baggage of a love that was.
1. Dedicating your time to activities and things that you really love doing .
It gets harder and harder to wake up each morning especially when you have become so used to waking up beside your special someone. You did almost always everything together, and the thought of having to do those things alone now is enough for you to feel a pang of pain. You are no longer excited, you have lost your focus and motivation, and you have nothing to look forward to.
Use your alone time to dedicating it to activities and things that you really love doing, especially those things that you could not do before when you were still with your special someone. If you love spending hours after hours reading Young Adult books, now is the best time to get back to it. Doing things that make you forget the time will actually help you eventually forget the pains and horrors of the past because you are actively engaging in an activity that you enjoy the most. Did your special someone detest the outdoors while you do not?
Now that you are once again single, there is no one to tell you what you can and cannot do. Pack up your bags and go on a hiking trip. If long road trips are your thing, you might as well do it. Savor the freedom that your being not in a relationship has provided you. In one of these alone times that you have, you will come to realize that you only have yourself to complete—no one else can complete you.
Breakups are the worst—because we feel very inadequate and we think less of ourselves. Those times with our significant others have left us too complacent that they will still accept us no matter how fat we get.
After the breakup, our shirts and pants may no longer fit us, which is another reminder that we have forgotten to take care of ourselves. Start working out. Go out and jog. You can opt to run, play badminton, swim, or cycling. No matter what you choose, it is important that you perspire. It will make you feel better physically and emotionally.
If you have bottled up hatred and anger, you can try boxing. Being able to scream at the top of your lungs and subjecting your body to strenuous activities will help you in ways you could not imagine.
Shutting down your Facebook account is acceptable.
Facebook has this feature of reminding us of our photos we posted years ago. If you are fresh from a heartbreak, happy pictures with your special someone may trigger your emotions. Deactivating your Facebook account is just as acceptable as crying yourself to sleep. People are natural gossipers, so it also saves you from their judgments. When you think you have moved on to a happier phase in your life, you can always turn it back on. If it hurts, it hurts.
Respecting the process is important.
Moving on is a process, and it takes time. While some may move on faster than others, some take it slowly. Do not rush to suddenly feel okay, because you are only fooling yourself. Moving on is not a door that you can just close and open. You will feel bad, you will feel sorry for yourself, and you will cry yourself to sleep—all of which are totally human and okay. You cannot move on overnight.
Each morning, you will feel that the pain of the heartbreak is hurting you less, and then less. When you can get up in the morning totally oblivious of the past, you know that it no longer hurts, you will know for sure, and that you have finally moved on. You will eventually catch yourself smiling when his or her memory suddenly resurfaces, but it would no longer hurt you.
These are just some of the ways you can follow if you find yourself aimless, wanting to move on but do not know where to start.
One thing is for sure: moving on is a difficult process; sometimes it is even messy and depressing. Dry your eyes and start to focus on a very important person in your life: yourself!
We hope that these things will help you get over whatever it is you are facing now.
It gets better. Hang in there.
About the Author
Joyce Fisher is a 28-year-old grief counselor from Boston, Massachusetts who enjoys listening to classical music and talking to strangers about the weather. She has a seven-year-old son, Kyle, who likes the Harry Potter series.
Images by unsplash under Public Domains CC0